My little helper....

With kids everything takes twice as long and USUALLY (not always, but usually) twice as fun. Here was my little helper with dishes the other day. He had so much fun in the dishwasher and I had fun watching him (and taking pictures of him).... my little man may be a monster, but he's my lil monster and I love him:)

Picture....

Here is a picture of God's creation that Keller made for God, now he's doing one for Jesus....

I told my son he was going to hell...

Yup, you read that right. Judge me if you want. I only told him what God tells us is true in scripture. God says that those who do NOT belong to Him, that do NOT believe in Him, that do NOT love Him will NOT inherit the kingdom of heaven. Romans 6:23 says "For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, the wages of sin is death".

Let me back up to give you a better understanding. It's Friday night and we decided to have a family game night. We played a good and LONG round of MEMORY with Daddy (Kingsley) being the ultimate winner. As we were playing Kingsley had turned on the TV to the discovery Health and DR G, Medical Examiner was on. (yes, it's gruesome show with autopsies and such. I believe there is even a disclaimer of "the things you are about to see... yadda yadda yadda). We believe in exposing our kids to things such as that to broaden their thinking, get them to ask questions and help develop a love for science, life and of God's creation. And that is EXACTLY what happened. An obese man died (after being in a coma) and they did an autopsy on his brain, body cavity, lungs, heart and so on. Keller couldn't take his eyes off the TV. He was a tad scared, but refused to let us turn the channel and painfully endured commercials. He was purely fascinated. After the game we sent them up to get ready for bed and as expected Keller was "too" afraid. He didn't want to "fall asleep" because he was afraid it would turn into a coma and he wouldn't wake up and could die. After some explaining, we got him to fall asleep. Kingsley of course fell asleep on couch ( do all men do that???) and I gave up trying to wake him and went to bed myself. At 2am I wake up to Keller in MY bed sitting straight up saying "I'm having nightmares, I can't sleep, I'm afraid". I of course mumble "God is always with you, no need to be afraid, go to bed". He was clearly NOT going to do that and after 30 min of him sitting up in bed I rolled over and said "what are you afraid of?" DYING? "He answered "yes", I asked "why"? he said "it's scary", and I ask "how do you know if you've never done it"? So then it's like a light went off in my head, God had provided this 2am opportunity with NO distractions like babies, or TV, or daily agenda, He provided this MOST perfect time to present the gospel to my 6 year old son, and so I did. I started from the VERY beginning with God always existing, Gabriel, the fallen angel, the war between God and Satan, creation, God creating Adam and Eve, the first sin, God's judgment, the flood, God's wrath appeased with a sacrifice, and then I told him of a conversation that may have happened in heaven. God angry with man's sin and our judgment being life in hell **So yes, I did tell him he's a sinner, I am a sinner and we are GOING TO HELL**, Jesus not wanting that said "no please send me, I will live as a human, and die as one, I will die in THEIR place so they can have eternal life with us". Keller has NEVER been so attentive and asking SO many good relative questions. He pipes up and says "what? He did that FOR ME"? (now keep in mind he's heard the crucifixion story hundreds of times before) he was now "getting it". Excited as could be I continued with Christ's birth, life and death. We are now an hour into our conversation and I am NOT provoking him towards any type of "sinner's prayer" or anything like that. I know full well if you present heaven and hell to a 6 year old why in the world would they choose Hell? Any kid is going to choose streets of gold over eternal fire and damnation. So I'm not a fan in instigating a prayer to give them false security in something. I don't know when or if God decides to change anyone. I let Him move in their hearts and guide them as they learn. Then we get to the GOOD part of Jesus's return, the tribulation, and then ultimately the lake of fire (for Satan)... WOW, quite a lot for a 6 yr old or ANYONE to take in at one time. So we sat in silence for a good while. After what seemed like forever he said "Mommy, can I pray to God"? (still NOT PROMPTED in anyway, I was prepared to go to bed) I said "you know you can pray to God whenever you want honey". He said "Yeah, but I want to pray and thank Him for doing that for me and I want to tell him I don't like sin and don't want to do it and that I'm sorry and that He is now at the top of my best friend list". My heart melted. He is getting it. He isn't feared into a prayer, his heart is thankful and his heart is longing for Christ. So he prays "Dear God, thank you for the all the planets, and the animals, and ALL the people you made. Thank you for not killing me, but that you sent Jesus. I don't want an evil heart and I'm sorry. Please be my best friend. I will make you a picture tomorrow." Amen. I told him being sorry is like asking forgiveness. We spoke more (as tears rolled down my eyes) I asked him what was up with the "picture" and he said "oh I make pictures for all my friends on my best friend list and God's now at the top". He said "I can't wait to wake up and tell Saylor all about Jesus, and then go to school and tell my friend Michael". I laugh and say "that is why God created us honey, to share that good news". SO after 2 hours I say, "do you understand now why you DO NOT NEED to be afraid of anything? Once you are in the hand of God, NOTHING can snatch you out. The bible says "Fear NOT, for I am with you says the Lord". Keller said, "all my nightmares are gone now, I know I can sleep mommy". AND SO WE DID!!!!!!!!!

Sorry if this was long, but I realized that blogging is essentially my "baby book" for now, my journaling. I use it as a guide to go back and fill in my calanders, baby books with information. I didn't want to forget last night and how Keller responded to hearing the truth in scripture. So like I said, judge me if you want... but I told my son what God has already said is true in scripture. I'm so thankful for the sleep deprivation I am now feeling... as I write Keller is drawing that picture for his BFF, Jesus.

With tears

I can't help but sit and sob. My heart broken in a million pieces. Why you ask? I sit here watching my little girl (Saylor) jump joyfully on the trampoline. She is laughing and jumping (pushing her brother) and grinning from ear to ear. She has a little knitted cap on with her hair pulled up. Looking at her, you wouldn't see her beautiful blond hair. She smiles at me and she waves. In an instant my mind and thoughts go to Holly, a woman I don't even know, yet today she is suffering. Her 4 yr old daughter, Kate, who has a striking resemblance to Saylor, finished her MRI today and her brain tumor remains, with large veins bleeding and pumping right through the tumor, feeding it, growing it. There most likely will not be another brain surgery. Her blog (www.prayforkate.com) is so open and honest about the trial they are going through. Just 6 months ago they were signed up for swimming lessons, she too was jumping and playing, laughing and smiling at her mom through the window. Within an instant, a day, their whole world was turned upside down with a hand tremor and a diagnosis of an aggressive brain tumor. I'm not usually this compassionate (i know negative trait) or emotional, especially with a stranger, but I can't help but walk in her shoes and mourn with her. Last thanksgiving they thanked God for such a healthy and strong family, not knowing that secretly something was growing and attacking the life of their child. Sometimes I can't help and wonder "could that be me"? The answer is a resounding YES.. it COULD be me, it COULD be YOU... it can be any one of us. We are never promised tomorrow. Holly and Aaron went public to gain more prayer for their daughter through their brothers and sisters in Christ. Please take a minute and pray for them. I know she must be an amazing mother, wife and woman or else God wouldn't have chosen HER specifically to go through such a trial. I can only pray I honor God with 1/2 as much grace in my trials. I'm thankful today, so thankful to have HAD today. I'm thankful that TODAY we are alive and can glorify God. The first 2 pictures are of my little Saylor, and the bottom 2 pictures are of this little girl Kate.

Park Day

It was such a beautiful day yesterday, so we spent most of it outside at a park. The twins are at ages where they can now enjoy swings and slides with the older two. I love sitting and watching the older two dote on them and carry them around showing them all the toys as if they were "park experts". I sat there thinking "life just can't get any better than this". As hard as these last few months have been adjusting to mobile babies, it truly is equally rewarding.

They are now 10 months!!! Where does time go? I believe it was last year around this time that I was admitted into the hospital and spent 3-4 of the worst weeks of my life there. What a difference this year brings being able to walk, run and play with ALL my kids this year. I'm thankful for just that.

Ramsey is now waving at everyone and everything. She is as happy as a baby could possibly be. She is so little and fast. Slade can clap and actually amuses himself with that progress. It's beyond funny to walk in their room and see her waving to him (cribs face each other) and to see him laughing and clapping. It's as if he's clapping at her success in waving. Those two are a riot. They both pull themselves up on EVERYTHING and are walking around furniture. Ramsey will let go and stand for a few seconds unassisted before falling/sitting down. I'm betting she'll be my first walker.

Here are a few pics of our family day out...