been awhile

Well it's been awhile... I've been wanting to update blog, but nothing too exciting has been going on (which I guess NO NEWS is GOOD news).

The babies aren't really babies anymore... they are little toddlers. They are on the go from the time they wake up to the time they go to bed.... I cherish those FEW hours alone after they have gone to sleep!! Slade is actually talking more than Ramsey and knows a little sign language to help him communicate. Ramsey is more quiet but BUSY. Slade says "ball, eyes, hat, bye bye, and dada". Neither say "mama" yet. Oh well. Slade also climbed out of his crib for the first time. I left the side rail down during nap and was VERY surprised to see him appear in the kitchen a few minutes later!!! Slade is still my more "passionate" (code word for EMOTIONAL MESS) baby. He gets upset quite easy and will throw his head down and bang it continuously on the tile floor. In many pictures you will see a bump or bruise on his forehead! Ramsey will sit and watch and laugh at him. She claps at the show, which only makes little Slade more upset. Ramsey is very easy going. She ONLY cries when I put her in bed for the night... other than that she never cries. She is a very contented and happy baby, which is why everyone prefers to hold her over Slade.

The comment I am getting from EVERYONE these days is "WOW, so how far apart are they?" to which I say "Oh about 5 min". No one can tell they are twins. Slade is a little bigger (not a WHOLE year bigger) but Ramsey is still a little peanut. All my kids grow fast and grow big, so it's nice to have ONE child stay in clothes a little longer!!! She is a picky eater and takes FOREVER to eat, whereas Slade can't shovel the food in fast enough.

We are excited to travel to Palm Springs to see Mimi and Diddy this week. The kids miss them and are SO excited to see them again. Saylor talks about going to Starbucks with Diddy ALONE and getting strawberries and cream smoothie. It's her "special" thing to do with him. She will always remember and have that memory of her grandfather. My grandfather always walked me up to the hardware store and bought me a bag of gum that looked like rocks. To this day I cherish holding his hand on the walk and getting that gum. It was my special thing with him.

We start school in a month, so now begins the clothes and supply shopping. Saylor goes into Kinder and Keller in 1st. They go to a charter school, so they will be in SAME class from 8-12, then saylor will come home and they work on 1st grade stuff until 3. She is excited to be in class WITH keller and all his friends who she knows so well already. She has been planning her first day of school outfit over and over again as well as practicing how she'll do her hair. She is growing up too fast.

That's it for now. Here are a few pictures from our Picture People session. I adore these kids. I'm so thankful for each day with them.

It's been awhile.

Why is it that we wait until something MAJOR happens before we truly appreciate what is in front of us? For instance, a diagnosis of cancer, or a heart attack, getting into a car accident, a terminally ill child? I read a mother write on her blog today (in regards to her son who is soon to pass away from CF at 7 years old) "it makes me FURIOUS to see mother's yell at their children for not being able to tie a shoe, or because they are running late to some insignificant event". She can't fathom for a moment treating her son in a way b/c he has about a week left of life. She is focused on easing his pain, loving him every single second because she knows how quickly his time here on earth is ending. I can't even to begin to imagine what this mother is going through, but at one time she said the SAME thing about other mother's going through similar situations. We NEVER know at any given moment what God is going to allow in our lives by way of sickness or death. I'm not making the argument we live in fear, by NO MEANS, but to expect this life to be free of pain and heartbreak is foolishness. There WILL be trials. There WILL be suffering. We WILL be let down. We will experience things we never wished we had. Each of us has our own "story". We have our own set of "trials" that we think no one understands but "us". We all can have a pity party and think or "story" is the worst. Some have a child addicted to drugs. Some have had a cheating spouse. Some have been the cheating spouse. Some have had addictions to pornography. Some have been self righteous. Some have been apathetic. Some have been through divorce. Some have been married WISHING they were divorced. Some have had sickness rob their family of a loved one. Some can't live without meds. Some have lost a child. Some can't have a child. And the list goes on. We ALL are ego centric to some point. We ARE humans.

We have but ONE hope.... Christ. So cliche I know. But to endure all these trials and still be a light, we need to trust that HE is the author of ALL things and allows them to come into our life for OUR good. Nothing goes unnoticed by "Him".
I heard someone the other day talking about how God "tests" us. And many of times we get angry and wonder "why me?"... we view God in a negative way b/c we don't like the "test" we are under. But like any GOOD teacher, she will test her students, not out of cruelty, but out of necessity to see where her students are. What do they know, what don't they know? She NEEDS to test them to evaluate what to be working on with them. Where do they need to improve? So tests are GOOD, even if they don't feel like it. We can PRAISE God for caring enough to test us and be involved in our lives instead of being just our "creator" who leaves us alone and isn't personally involved in EVERY aspect of our lives. What an AMAZING God we serve.

I say this, because I am struggling. (not going to air all my struggles and pretend that MY struggles are WORSE or more important than anyone elses), but I am struggling with some tough things and I NEED to preach to myself or my own negative thoughts will swallow me up and get the best of me. I NEED to remember who I am in Christ, and what my purpose here on earth is. I NEED to understand that life is short. (no I'm not dying... well we all are, kind of... but no medical diagnosis of anything).

So much more I need to say (mostly to myself) but my sweet Saylor is BEGGING me to play barbie's... and she keeps hearing mommy say "one more minute honey" or "maybe later"... but this is my point... we may not have "later". The mother I mentioned in the blog doesn't have a "later". Her son died this morning. She would have put down her computer in a second if he even had the energy to ask her to play barbie's (or lego's). So I am off to play barbie's and enjoy my daughter.

twin antics

I must say that I do INDEED love having twins. I meet SO many people that say "Oh I always wanted twins" or "I was REALLY hoping I'd end up with twins" and while I was NEVER one of those people who thought about having twins, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Caring for twins is so much harder than just a singleton. Sometimes I have pity parties and WISH someone understood what it was like, how difficult it is, but I realize that no matter HOW hard our situation is, there is ALWAYS someone who has it harder. A friend of mine had TRIPLETS, so I think of her often:) I won't go into details of the hardship, because who TRULY delights or wants to know of our frustrations. The flip side of the trial is that you DO get TWICE the amount of giggles, laughs and kisses. We have started a bedtime routine of playing in their room for about an hour before they settle down and go to bed. I sit in there with them and get tackled and smothered with kisses. One is kissing the top of my head and the other is kissing my face, both laughing hysterically! Reading books to babies, with two on your lap, is so fun. They will look at each other, point to pictures, laugh together and try to turn the pages. It's amazing to watch them interact together. When you have one baby and put them next to another baby (a cousin, friend, etc...) you keep a close eye on them to make sure they don't pull hair, or tackle each other, or hurt each other, but with twins, they are SO used to being together that you never worry about them getting hurt together. With twins, it's not a novelty to have another baby around, they are just used to having each other so they learn to get along even while babies!

The other day I was upstairs while they were in their high chairs and I heard the "belly" laugh... nonstop giggling. I peeked over the staircase to see Ramsey feeding Slade all her food! (It's no wonder he's so much bigger). They thought that was the funniest thing and of course so did Keller and Saylor!

When you have a single baby, you become "alarmed" when it's "quiet", because you KNOW they are into something! With twins, you are alarmed when they laugh, because ONE of them is into something and the other is laughing at them! I heard Slade laughing hard, so I of course run into the room to see that Ramsey had somehow climbed up on the dresser and was throwing diapers and toys down to him. A few days ago I heard Ramsey squealing and laughing (again you have to run quick at laughter) and I found Slade had crawled out the back door (one of the older two left it open). While he was happy to escape, Ramsey's laughter got him caught!

Sometimes I wish time would stand still. I love this part of life, when kids are little, at home, happy to spend time with us. I know things will change, but I'm enjoying these precious precious years!

OUCH! Read this today...

Read this today and figured I'd ONLY be on FB and blog while kids are sleeping:)

My computer arrived just the other day,
It came on the porch in the usual way
So many blogs to read and games to play
My child learned to walk, while I twittered away
And he was talkin’ for I knew it, as my friends list grew
He’d say I’m gonna be like you mom
You know I’m gonna be like you

And mom’s lost on the computer, lettin' dinner burn
Little boy wanders, he just wants to learn
When you getting off mom?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then
we're gonna have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said "thanks for the wii, mom, come on let’s play"
"Can you teach me how it works?" I said “Not today”
"I got a blog to write" he said “that’s okay”
And he walked away while the computer never dimmed
He said, “I’m gonna be like them, yeah”
You know I’m gonna be like them

And mom’s lost on the computer lettin' dinner burn
Little boy wanders, he just wants to learn
When you getting off mom?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then
We're gonna have a good time then

Well my son came home just the other day
iPod in his ears, while he texted away
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and he said with a smile
"I'd really like to Mom, but talkins' not my thing"
"Check my status, for what's happening"

And mom’s lost on the computer lettin' dinner burn
Little boy wanders, he just wants to learn
When you getting off mom?
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then
You know we’ll have a good time then

Well my blog's retired and my Facebook out-of-date
My son texted, “Hey mom, I just can't relate"
I said, "I'd like to see you if you have some time."
He said, "I'd love to mom but skype if you don't mind."
"You see my website's down and my workload just grew."
"but it's nice texting with you, mom"
It's been sure nice texting with you."

And as I typed “c u later” it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

My 5 yr old little princess

My Baby turned 5 on 5-1-5!

Saturday marked the 5th year of having the INCREDIBLE addition of Saylor to our family! She has been such a blessing! Words can't describe the joy she has added to MY life alone!!! From day 1 she has been such an easy, laid back child. She slept through the night at 2 days old, and that has been indicative of the rest of her life. She is sweet, obedient, thoughtful, insightful, ORGANIZED and systematic in her thoughts and actions. She never ceases to amaze me with her love for life! We had an AMAZING weekend celebrating her life.
On Friday Daddy (Kingsley) took her for her first ever pedicure and manicure! She absolutely LOVED being pampered:) She didn't stop smiling ALL day as people commented on her polka dotted nails and bright flowered toe nails! The added a little bling and she has been proud to show EVERYONE! We then headed over to Sky City Bounce house with 3 of her girlfriends and they spent the afternoon bouncing, jumping and laughing!!! We went home for pizza, cake, ice cream, pinata, presents, movie and slumber party. I was quite excited that she requested me to be one of the "girls" and sleep in her castle for the slumber party (soon she'll be kicking me out of her room during slumber parties:) We snuggled all night long and I thanked God for her as I also thanked God that on THIS night I wasn't in labor pushing a 10 lb baby out!!!

Saturday morning we fixed chocolate chip crepes and headed over to the lake for a walk. The kids loved seeing the ducks and turtles. We came across a little pond where a little dipping of the feet turned into full on swimming!! The kids had a blast and made memories that will last a lifetime. It was a priceless moment for me to watch such childlike excitement without a care in the world! My parents were good at allowing us to experience life to the fullest and seeing Saylor take advantage of an opportunity to be spontaneous just made me smile from ear to ear.

It was indeed a perfect weekend. She has no idea how much she has impacted and changed our lives in such an amazing way. I pray God develops and grows her more and more to impact others in such a way for Him.

Poppies were in FULL bloom and beautiful

CHANGE IS GOOD

CHANGE IS GOOD, CHANGE IS GOOD CHANGE IS GOOD.... do you think if I say it enough I'll believe it??? lol... I believe so:) We ALL love stability, routine, schedules EVEN BABIES are secure knowing "what comes next". I've always been a erratic person, so routine wasn't part of my nature. HOWEVER, after having the twins I realize it's a "MUST" and that NOTHING will get accomplished without it. I've learned to LOVE a schedule (though still loving a spontaneous adventure), but I've loved it to a fault. The "new" me has impressed my husband when dinner is made, dishes done, floors mopped, laundry (not just DONE but put away), toys organized, clean sheets on beds, shutters are dusted and so on, but I've realized I've sacrificed something in the process.... my kids. I've given them the impression that I don't have time to color with them, to play games with them, to pretend play, to tell stories, jump on the trampoline, to go on nature hikes or trips to the park. Instead they've come to realize "cleaning is MOST important". It breaks my heart to even write that. I'm flawed (in WAY TOO MANY ways:) I'm constantly telling my kids "you have to be flexible, things change"... but yet, I've failed in taking my own advice. I can't just walk away from laundry and actually am upset when it's interrupted (by dirty diapers, or someone "needing" me). I'm not sure how this happened, but it has. I'm a STAY AT HOME MOM, who isn't really "home" or "present" when my kids need me and today it not only got my attention but has convicted me. I'm NOT saying the opposite should be true. We should spend ALL day doting and catering to kids and neglecting our other responsibilities, but the key is balance. I believe that is the key to most of life. We are constantly trying to find the balance.

I thank my church for indirectly teaching me this. Our church has been through SO many changes in the last few months. It started with church discipline of an elder, which resulted in half our church body leaving. Then after a few weeks, our Senior Pastor took a job in church planting and missions. We then merged with a well known church in the valley, Cornerstone, Francis Chan becoming our pastor. The next week one of our elders tells us he's moving up north for missions work, then ANOTHER elder is moving (due to job transfer). I start looking around the church, MY FAMILY, and I realize I don't even recognize anyone ... things are "changing" and they are changing quickly. Today we received word that Francis Chan is now leaving and starting a ministry in LA city. Every week someone leaves and there is instability ..... or is there??? God is our constant, he is the NEVER CHANGING GOD, who we CAN trust. He doesn't leave. He doesn't change, He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Oh what a comfort. We can not say this of any other person. We want to trust our parents, our spouses, our kids, but if ALL our hope lies in them, we are setting ourselves up for a huge let down. I'm not saying these people don't have good intentions, because they do, but are not intended to take the place of God. I've let that happen, but thankfully God has shown his grace upon me to open my eyes to the this deceptive thinking. Change, outside of God, is inevitable. The faster I realize that the faster I can grow and develop and mature my thinking. My life changed drastically when I realized I was pregnant a 3rd time, then received the gift of that 3rd AND 4th child. My life is CONSTANTLY changing with their changes. Two babies walking is a whole new ball game. Jobs change, people change, government and economy change, kids grow up, people die, nothing stays the same, NO MATTER HOW HARD WE TRY TO MAKE IT. We may love the comfort of routine, but we need to learn to love the instability of change as well, because it IS our promised future. I know we weren't called to live "comfortable lives", but to live OUTSIDE our comfort level.... to take risks, to be hurt, to fail so that we can get BACK up and try again. It's a beautiful thing to fail, it gives yet ANOTHER opportunity to succeed. So in my failings as a mother, I WILL rejoice in that God has allowed me another day to get back up and try again. I hope and pray my kids learn this in life. I want them to KNOW they are important, but that I can NOT take the place of God in their life. I pray that I have wisdom in knowing how to incorporate this into daily activities and life lessons.

Sorry to ramble.... blogging can be scary at times, bc you open yourself up to be real and criticized for what you believe and how you do things...... but also a good way to challenge yourself to live authentically.

On a side note, I believe Slade has learned his new (AND ONLY) "trick". He can shake his head "no" and laugh... he'll do it for hours... (which tells me he HEARS IT A LOT FROM ALL OF US)... Ramsey on the other hand has NO IDEA what that means or why he is doing it. She will sit and clap though, at his antics. They amuse me with how they interact. The nursery at church told me that they have formed their OWN "clique". They like to play together but don't include the other babies... LOL.... maybe a twin thing? I don't know, but the thought makes me laugh. They tell me Ramsey is the ring leader and Slade just follows her around. She may be tiny, but she's wearing the pants in that relationship:)

We are off to see the poppies in FULL bloom.... here's to HOPING all kids are awake and smiling for some pictures.... don't be surprised if #3 child is screaming though.

SORGE Family Reunion 2010

MEETING COUSIN CALEB!!!

Dinner with the Turners

WASHINGTON D.C. pics