WHY AM I STILL UP???

AGGGHHH Here I am at midnight and EVERYONE is asleep, except me! I could've gone to bed 2 hours ago, but here I am. I know what is happening. From the time I hear that first little cry or "da da da da" in the morning, my day is off and running, with almost no stopping. It's not really until 10pm that I can sit down, rest and relax. I'm almost afraid to fall asleep b/c I know once I do, the madness starts all over again. I want to sit and enjoy the peace and quiet and SILENCE. Though in saying that I realize there will come a day VERY soon where it will all be silent and I would do ANYTHING to hear squealing, laughing, screaming, fighting, teasing, phineas and ferb on TV, etc... I don't long for that day, I'm thankful for the chaos and the moment to moment things that happen in a day, but yet at the END of the day I think of ALL the things that DID NOT get done that day and how long the list will be tomorrow, and knowing tomorrow's list won't get done which makes 2 days from now twice as long and so on. It's an overwhelming feeling to say the least. But today when I looked at Ramsey and she just laughed and laughed and wouldn't stop crawling to me just giggling (slap happy giggle) I realized there will ALWAYS be a list and that I can't live to get it done, I have to stop and say the #1 thing ON that list is to love and nurture these 4 blessings God has given me. If I don't get anything else done in a day, at least I got the MOST important one done. I grabbed her and loved on her and she was eating it up. It's these moments that we aren't promised to have tomorrow.

Well I'm exhausted and life is good.

A woman who has changed my life....

Some days I have time to sit down and think of the people God has put in my life strategically at times to grow me, challenge me and help mold and change me (other days it's simply SURVIVAL), but today I had a minute to sit and think and just thank God for someone specific, and this is HER.... my friend, BW. I wish I had an elaborate vocabulary and great writing skills to communicate just how amazing she is and how she has changed my life, but since I do NOT... I will express it like a typical 15 year old... I LOVE HER TO DEATH:)

Most people do not meet let alone have the privilege of knowing a person such as her. She is by FAR the most selfless, most thoughtful, giving and caring person I know. She is the epitome of a Proverbs 31 woman. She is a friend who doesn't tell you what you want to hear, but yet what you NEED to hear, and with more love and grace imaginable. She humbly admits when she is wrong (not often:) and serves her husband and family with everything she has.

Anyway, I was feeling sentimental and in the rare case SHE has time to read this (has 5 little ones of her own) I wanted her to know that I'm blessed beyond measure to not only know her but call her friend.... Thank you BW for being you, for being who God has called you to be, for not being of this world, and keeping me thinking straight. I love you girl....

Birthday Party fun

We had a blast at our friend's little birthday party. Only in LA will you see someone's pet goats and pet pigs wandering through the house with more privileges than kids:)

pumpkin patch pics

Sorry for posting late, been having problems getting my pics uploaded. I have a feeling I have TOO many saved on my computer.

We had such a blast visiting the patch with the little one's. They just are amazed by everything they see and touch. It's fun watching them experience life!

Slade's 2nd haircut already!!!!

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It's been TOO long...

This is for the ONE person out there that probably still checks this once in awhile... I'm pretty sure blogging had died out thanks to Facebook and the like. But for those that choose NOT to follow the crowd on FB, here I am still blogging:)

Things have been quite hectic around here. The day has arrived. The dreaded and feared moment... both twins are now mobile! One I could handle, but two is crazy. It's like they conspire and go opposite directions on PURPOSE. They are smart little boogers. Ramsey has the speed advantage, but Slade has the size, so when he sees her take off, he'll grab her and scream. I'm not sure why, but he just doesn't want her getting away. She will then throw her head down in tears and he takes the moment and will SLOWLY move by her. It's like the tortoise and the hare!!! I can't help but laugh. The few times Slade isn't quick enough to grab her she is off and moving and you'll NEVER know where you will find her! She is fast and likes to hide. It's like having a mouse in the house! They are just as fun as can be though. For naps they are in separate cribs and will peek through the slats and babble with each other! I love just listening to them. It is true for fraternal twins as it is with identical.. they really do have their "own" language. Having twins is like having your firstborn child ... everything is new and exciting. You are experiencing things differently. I love that God has allowed me to experience this here on this earth.

Let's see... a month or two ago all 4 kids got hand, foot, mouth disease (not sure if i mentioned it). Keller joyfully shared it with his siblings after school one day. The older 2 were OK with it, but the babies got these awful blisters in their mouths and refused to eat. They screamed for days b/c they were hungry, then screamed b/c it hurt to take a bottle. It was miserable but like anything else we survived.

Well here are a few more pics until I get the rest uploaded.

Make a Wish....

I find my 4 year old's mind FASCINATING... the stuff she thinks of, or says just amazes me at times. Today she really impressed me with her "role" playing abilities. When I was 4 I remember playing dolls and playing house, and pretending to be a mom, etc... but not sure my mind is triggered the way hers is. Today she "gave birth" to a little girl named "hannah". She brought Hannah down in a bassinet and told me it was time to say goodbye to her. I asked her where she was going to which she responded "she's dying". Shocked by her comment I said "WHAT?, what happened, you just had her?" She said, "Yes, I know mommy, but my hannah was born with a brain tumor and now she is going to die, but it's OK, because she will be with Jesus". Not knowing what to say, she went on and said "maybe you can be here when the 'men' come". of course I ask "what men?" she said " you know the men that come and ask her what her ONE wish is before you die". (Make-a-Wish foundation). WOW!!! Apparently Hannah's last wish (as a newborn) was to swim with the dolphins and go to disneyland. I am so thankful for my observant and compassionate little Saylor. She teaches me to be aware of others and their circumstances (this role play is primarily due to the little girl, Kate we pray for each night www.prayforkate.com).

My newest and ONLY niece on Ramsey side...

My sweet little niece, Lily was born a week ago. She is just as adorable as can be! My sister started to develop a fever and Lily's heart rate was quickly going over 200 so they took her via c-section. Mom and baby are both doing GREAT (as you can see). Welcome to the world and into our family Lily.. .you are beautiful!

SITTING..

Well it's official... both babies are now sitting confidently with no assistance needed. They have been doing well for a few months now, but I never felt I could sit them down and walk away. I LOVE watching them sit and interact with one another. Ramsey will just sit and watch Slade squeal over a toy, then she'll try and take it away from him. The look on his face when this happens is priceless. He is in utter shock that she would do such a thing. Once he realizes that she is more flexible and can turn her back away from him to protect that toy, it's like his world is crashing in. He just throws his head down and sobs and screams with NO end. The response from her is also priceless. She smiles and coos and laughs at his "fits". This is ONLY the beginning of things to come for this poor little boy. Having twins is like having a first born child, everything is so new and exciting. Not that it wasn't new and exciting when I had Saylor (fun being my 1st girl) but having two is a whole new ball game. I'll write more on their sweet little personalities once I get them calmed down and in bed... Here are a few pics of my proud sitters!

And MORE baby pictures

Yes, more and more baby pictures... why???? Because this is a blog about them:) So they will just keep coming I guess... who knows for how long..

It still amazes me that ONE baby can be formed and turn out so perfectly... but TWO is just mind blowing to me. By far the most common comment in public (other than "glad it's you and not me" to which I respond "me too") is "wow, you are double blessed" and I truly am. I can't get enough of these babies. I am so very thankful to be called their mother. I pray I give them the best of me.

Catfish

My man has got some serious catfish barbels going on....

A few more of Princess Ramsey and Prince Slade

7 months!

A few days ago... my babies turned 7 months and I have NO idea where the time has gone. I guess we get So busy in the day to day tasks that we don't take a step backwards and realize just how precious every moment really is!

Life with twins is still an adjustment (to say the least) for me. There are some days that I think "Man, this is SO easy, and I could literally have 100 kids" and other days I think "Oh my, how am I possibly going to make it through one more day"? Thankfully I'm adjusting to chaos and it's become the "norm" so to speak (but also explains the lack of blogging).

Both babies are doing well. Slade is HUGE... and Ramsey remains my lil peanut. Both personalities are coming in strong. Slade is either hot or cold. He can really throw a temper tantrum, but then 2 sec later be laughing and giggling. Ramsey is more neutral. She is stingy with her smiles, but equally so she doesn't get too upset. She is NOT the great sleeper that her brother is turning out to be. She takes little 20 min cat naps all day while he takes good 2 hour naps. At night he only wakes up once between 7-6am. Meanwhile Ramsey is still waking at midnight, and 3! so between the 2 of them I am up atleast 3 times a night... Then there is Keller who is wetting the bed every other night... so that is another time I get up and am changing sheets. Once I go to bed around midnight, I'm usually up every hour during the night for something. Sadly, I'm used to it and it's another "norm". But to be blessed with these two precious little ones, the lack of sleep is NOTHING....

Both babies are able to sit up for quite a long time. I don't just sit them up and walk away though... we have some hard floors and if they fall, well it wouldn't be a pretty site. They have been rolling over for quite some time and it looks as if ramsey will crawl soon. She gets up on all 4's and rocks back and forth. It's just a matter of weeks before they are "mobile" and life will change all over again:) Neither will take a pacifier, but THANKFULLY Ramsey sucks her 3rd and 4th fingers... Keller gets all excited b/c it looks like she's doing a spider man web thing.... lol.

So life is good. Babies are doing very well and I know these are the most precious and cherished moments of my life. I don't take it for granted and am so thankful for the chaos God has graciously allowed me to go through. I'll write more later.. but here are a few more pics for now.

holding on tight.

Tonight Ramsey awoke screaming in such a panic. I rushed in and grabbed her and just held her. One hand behind her head the other wrapped around her back and just rocked her little fragile body and held her so tight. She nuzzled her sweet little face down in my neck and started sucking her 2 little fingers. Everytime I tried to put her down she screamed like there was no tomorrow, so I kept picking her back up and holding her tight. I KNOW she felt safe when I held her, she felt secure, there was no fear, no worry. I realized that I too am like Ramsey. When I am with my creator, the one who gave me life is the ONLY place I have security and safety. Nothing else on this earth will satisfy, nothing is secure but him. How thankful I am to be called his daughter and know that he holds me in the palm of his hand where it's safe, a place I have no worry or fear. I needed to see the symbolism tonight ...

Devastating yet encouraging.

A friend of mine that I took a missions trip with (operation barnabas) has been blogging for quite awhile. Her most recent posts have been amazing to read. She is so transparent and real about some VERY bad decisions she's made with her life and marriage. She talks candidly about an emotional affair which lead to a physical adultery. She was very fearful in sharing, but her story has proved to be encouraging to so many who are either caught up IN an affair or who have gone through one with a spouse.

Go to: www.sarahmarkley.com to read her amazing story of sin and redemption.

zip line

Keller trying out the zipline at Ventura Beach.. he did good belly flop

Cousin Jordan

My cousin Jordan just moved out here to LA and is staying with us for a little while. I'll post more pics, but for now, I'm posting this for her mom to see:) We took her to Ventura Beach (she wanted to see "water"). The kids had a blast and I think Jordan enjoyed seeing the beach.

Please saylor

Hahaha... Keller cracks me up.. realized I was filming him and asked "please saylor stop" instead of usual yelling.

just hangin' out

Explanation of the "mohawk"

I know I've been bad at blogging lately. I'm not sure anyone reads this (or cares...lol) so I figured why spend the time... but then I realized HOW FAR BEHIND I am in updating the twins baby books, so this is a good timeline of events for me to go back and look at then record... so this is for me...

Everyone keeps asking about Slade's poor hair. He was born with such a great head of dark hair and slowly it's been disappearing. I thought maybe it's falling out, but then one day I walked in and saw Ramsey latched on to the side of his head with her mouth covered in hair and the sheet covered in Slade's beautiful hair. They were both laughing and he had his first "hicky" on his head. I then realized the 2nd crib was needed... SOON. I tried to separate them at night, but she managed to gnaw away on his giant man head! Now they both sleep soundly in their own cribs (unless I fail to do laundry and have no clean sheet.. .then they bunk together). So now the question is what to do with the few hairs Slade has left??? I don't want to give him his first haircut under 6 months old (though we can kind of thank Ramsey for that)... and if I do nothing he looks like he's got the "comb over". So we spike it. I think it's good for him to embrace his heritage of the wyandott tribe from my side of the family (he is 1/64th native american)...

I usually let the twins play together in the morning before we go down and start the day... and lately Slade (who RARELY cries) has been getting upset. I'll peak in the room and he seems fine, then I leave and I hear him cry again. I just assumed he wanted to be held. TODAY though... I quietly watched to see what was REALLY going on...

Here is what I saw...........

Amazing thoughts

I may be too sentimental... but I just find it amazing that my brother in law is building, yes, LITERALLY, building a new house for his bride and daughter on the wayr. I am fascinated with construction and how things are done: dry wall, tile, flooring, tile, framing etc... SO it was especially fun for me to go and see what he has built with his OWN hands. I can't imagine how amazing it will be to be sitting watching TV, eating dinner, sleeping in a house built by your father, husband. To know that his hands have touched and nailed essentially every piece to hold it in place. It's very similar to our lives... being built and structured by God. We may see the "end result" of a person... but it's God that has grown and "built" a person to be who they are. We don't see the "behind the scenes" work or trials a person goes through to become who they are... just as we see a finished house.. and rarely think of the details of how it got there. I'm so thankful I got to see the house where they will share so many wonderful memories. And I was lucky enough to put ONE SINGLE nail in, just to say "I helped build the house".... lol. I'm so proud of my brother-in-law and how hard he is working to provide for his new family.

The picture of Kingsley and I is taken from what will be their master bedroom. It has an incredible view. My little sister is in her laundry room... a place she will often be with a little one:)

my jolly little man

OBX Fave

I'll upload more pictures later, but for now, this came in 1st place as my FAVORITE picture during our vacation to the Outer Banks, NC. Keller just adores his Uncle Brant...

3 month girlies...

One is Saylor and one is Ramsey... both 3 months.

my baby...

Literally my baby... the runt and the last born. She is so sweet with all her expressions...

MORE Fires...

What is California known for (Other than perfect weather, perfect plastic bodies, beaches, earthquakes and Hollywood)??? It's the brush FIRES that seem to rage every summer! Thankfully we have survived the summer without too many close to our home (we live in fire zone). We had one hit last week (kids lit the fire in canyon near our house) and it burned 17 acres and brought out all the creepy crawly critters (tarantulas). Last night I was driving home and noticed the "oh too familiar" smell and sound of helicopters and fire trucks. Sure enough there was a fire in the canyon behind our house. I usually like the fires because it brings the neighbors out and makes us socialize whereas normally our neighbors keep to themselves. So I got super excited to hang out with all the neighbors, but then the cops came by ordering a voluntary evacuation. I watched in amazement as the fire climbed an enormous hill in a matter of seconds. (thankfully it burns slow coming down). In a second I realized we THINK we are in control, we have a sense of "security" but this is GOD's earth, his creation, his masterpiece and HIS to do with whatever he wants. We don't live in our world, we live in HIS world! Thankfully he's promised not to destroy it through another flood, but we are at HIS mercy. I don't always think that way, and it's good to have reminders. The power and awesomeness of a raging, burning all consuming fire is yet another reminder.

We eventually had a mandatory evacuation and we stayed with a friend until it was controlled. This is the 3rd time in 5 years that I've had to sit at my front door and think "what do I take, what pictures, what files, what material possessions do I not want destroyed?" each time I draw a blank and I take nothing but the kids and myself. Maybe I'm not organized enough to grab it in a moments notice or maybe I just don't value any possessions, but another reminder that we are born with nothing and we can take nothing out when we leave this earth.

We are back in the house and safe (though it smells of smoke). Even though I love the lessons I learn from brush fires, here's hoping we don't have anymore this summer:)

PEEK-A-BOO

Her burdened heart....

I'm quickly realizing that I have one obsessive little girl... SAYLOR. She is such a fun but odd child at times. I love watching life through her eyes. She sees things untainted. She imagines without fear and loves with no boundaries. Watching her brings me back to fond memories of my childhood. I love ALL my kids (obviously), but with each age comes different developmental processes and right now I'm thoroughly enjoying Saylor's 4 yr. old mind.

Someone we know posted a link to a family who recently discovered that their 5 yr. old daughter has a very aggressive brain tumor. Her name is Kate Mcrae (www.prayforkate.com) For a very apparent reason (blond hair, blue eyes, and her age) Saylor has really taken to this little girl who she has never met. From the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed she is BEGGING me to show her the video's posted of her on youtube. She will replay them OVER AND OVER again. She mimics little phrases that Kate makes, sings the lyrics to the song by Robbie Seay Band on video, and is asking 1001 questions. She prays for little Kate before every meal and before bedtime. (Keller who is unaware of the situation prays for Kate as well just b/c he hears Saylor obsessing over it). We pray for many people, so what has made Saylor especially concerned for this little girl? When I mention Kate's name, Saylor's little ears perk up and I know that I have 100% of her undivided attention. It's been an amazing tool to teach her about God, sickness, death, Christ, life, etc. Every day she asks "So did God decide to give little Kate another day to live, because I prayed for her last night"? And every day I get to tell her, "Yes honey, God DID decide to give her today". It's really had me thinking about how I spend my day with my kids. I have put myself in Kate's moms shoes many of times. What if I were to wake up one morning to see Saylor's little hand tremor... take her to Dr. then hear the devestating news that she has an aggressive malignant brain tumor?

So many times I just assume I'll have tomorrow.. but tomorrow is not promised to us. Being home with 4 kids is a juggling act and I'm constantly saying "not now", "maybe later" "please wait", "hold on", but all we have is the present. I'm committing today to put my kids needs above mine. To show them that THEY matter more than my "wants". To let them know that if today is all we have then I will give them 100% of my attention and love. What a gift today is.

Please pray for little Kate. She has a very tough and long rode ahead of her.

WE HAVE A MILESTONE!!!

The race was on for the first milestone and it looks like Slade-Dog takes first place. He was the first to roll over from tummy to back. Way to go big man... we all had bets on Ramsey as she has more coordination, but you pulled through and proved us wrong!!! Ramsey just sat confused and bewildered with his new trick. I'm sure she will follow soon. Here is a pic of the proud man before taking his prize (a big giant kiss and some milk from mommy). Oh and the mohawk is his new do thanks to Ramsey sucking ALL the hair off the side of his head... could be some jealousy over his hair???